Interview....

3. Still have some of my real lashes
2. Got to the interview on time
1. Could totally fit in my interview suit without the jaws of life


Preparation

Now in an effort to prepare for my highly anticipated interview; I called in recruits to help with wardrobe selection...However, they suck and didn't show....leaving poor pitiful me asking my husband for an opinion! Ugh. So again...you two gals that bailed on me YOU SUCK! BUT I still love you!

Well in order to prepare, I, in my unsupervised capacity, came up with a brilliant idea to put on individual lash extensions -- for the first time EVER! Now I must say that I did a pretty good job and they looked quite awesome. However, during the middle of the night I felt something scratching my left eye. So I stumble over my own feet and blink my eyes...they flutter so beautifully, but apparently I put too much glue on the edge of my eye and it formed a clump that was etching away my eyeball. Well, I assumed that the glue remover WOULD work....yeah -NOPE. From 3 am on I had to sleep with a wash rag on my eyes to loosen up the glue.

8:15 a.m. - left eyelash extensions completely off, right eyelash extensions gone except for the corner and the middle. The glue is so thick that cardboard would be deemed softer. 8:45 a.m. - still fighting with lashes but should be fixing my Medusa hairdo! 9:10 a.m. lashes finally off, with some panicked force...slightly bald eyelids...at least I have eyebrows. (huge sigh)I am praying they will one day maybe grow back!

Okay so my bed head had to be conquered, CRAP, 15 minutes before I have to leave!!! Deep breath, deep breath....what in H-E-double-hockey-sticks am I gonna wear? Complete mental break down about to occur. Well, might as well finish it off by trying on that outfit that wouldn't fit last time, but here's hoping... Soooo Oh my Gandhi! It fit! Hoorah... bald lashes, Mrs. Brady 1970's hairstyle, outfit that DOES fit and no make-up running out the door. Thank God for my wonderful husband/chauffeur who drove me as quickly as possible, allowing me to be grumpy and apply my make-up to my extremely sore and sensitive eyes.

Amazingly, I get there with time to spare. I make a 10 minute hike across a new campus in under five with heels. Thankfully I had a few extra minutes to gather my thoughts while my interviewer was finishing a meeting with the campus dean. Now the interviewer looked a little disheveled but-of-course it is a college campus and the last day for possible schedule changes....but she was very nice and just as cute as she could be. She lead me from the crowded lobby of disgruntled students to her slightly tucked out of sight office. We sat down and she was finishing an email to a colleague. I reached down to grab a pen from my purse and holy cow! I still had on those bright white trouser socks that I was gonna take off because they were obnoxious and double crap...where is my purse??? Yea, me...I left my purse sitting out in the fully packed lobby. So bug-eyed, slightly panicked and disheveled I politely excused myself. I should have said that it was to afford her the opportunity to finish her email in peace, but had to provide a prime example of my lack of responsibility or my absentmindedness or my ability to buckle under pressure...pick one. Well I ran to find my purse still nestled comfortably between the seat where I had left it. Thank goodness. That would have been fun...reporting a missing purse to campus police during an interview. Can we say "keep looking"?! The rest of the interview was a little awkward...not so much an interview but a layout of what the position entailed. It is so me! However, the interview again was awkward and there were no questions asked of me; I did the asking. So weird.

Thank goodness it was over. The upside to the interview is that I got my foot in the door and got an interview.